Movie Review: 'J. Edgar'

Okay, Clint.   You got us once again.  I fell for it.  I thought I heard someone say 'Academy Award Material' about this one, but that must've been a dream.  Or maybe it was a hallucination.   Anyway, we went.   And while it was a pretty good movie for the first few hours, it really started to drag after that.   

Clinty, Clinty, Clinty! Why do you have to make your movies so LONG?  I swear, about three quarters of the way through, Carol woke up our whole row with her snoring.

I was thinking, if they had started filming J. Edgar Hoover in his real life at about the age of 24, and continued filming until he died of old age, it couldn't have been any longer than this movie.     

There's an old adage which is very fitting for lots of things in life, and especially for the entertainment business:  "Leave 'em wanting!"  Leave 'em begging for more.   A great song is a short song.   Because you want more.  But if you stretch the song out, people get tired of it before it's over.  Same with a play, or a movie. Cut it back!  Shorten it up! Leave 'em wanting!  

Jeez, the same thing happened with Moneyball.   It was really very good for the first hour or so.  Exciting, even. Right up through the 20 game winning streak.  But after that, man!  Right down the tubes.  I found myself looking around the theater.  Trying to find something interesting.

But back to J. Edgar.  What's his name did a great job playing him.  Oh, yeah.  Lenny DiCaprio.  Wasn't he the one that I swore I'd never see another movie with him in it?  Or was that Matt Damon?   Wait, aren't they the same person? 

Anyway, in this movie, they were flashing back and forth through time, when he was young, then when he was old, so, obviously they had to make him look old.  That worked nicely for him, but here is a warning:  Be careful the first time you see his partner, Clyde Tolson (played by Armie Hammer) as an old man.  I think the makeup artists used a little too much fiberglass.  Phew.  He looked like a refugee from a bad zombie movie.   Had he bumped into a door jamb, I swear, his face would have shattered into a million pieces.   It was like a cross between a porcelain doll and Faye Dunaway with age spots.   Later in the movie he was fixed up a little better, thank god.  That was hard to take.

They did a pretty good job depicting Mister Megalomaniac J. Eddie Hoover.   When it ended, there was one woman who started clapping, but I threw my coat over her.   If the movie had been an hour and a half shorter, we all would have walked out happy.   Instead of in handcuffs, as I was, thanks to 'Little-Miss-take-umbrage" at having a coat thrown over her...

Do you want to see this movie? Check local showtimes.