I don't know too many men who carry around such. They, um, I mean we, well, it IS they, usually carry...nothing. They got pockets for cash and cards and a cell. I guess "they" use wallets.
But I've got a carrying bag that looks like bike messenger's bag.
I carry a metal water bottle. A pad. Pens. Extra pairs of glasses. Chico Bags, which are durable shopping bags which fold up into 3 inch by 2 inch by 2 inch soft bags.
And that's just in one compartment. Yes, there’s more--there's four more compartments.
In the back pouch are the car keys and the house keys and the mailbox keys and the keys to my wife’s heart. And one of the keys is the bathroom key from at the Cassidy/Turley office on Lindaro. I'll get that back to them soon.
I promise.
Then there's pills. Of course there’s pills. There’s Belladonna--oldsters will have a twinkle in their eye with that one, but it's for intestinal cramping. Hydrocortisone. Azathioprine. Now all the docs know what I have.
Band-aids. The band-aids are for the football players at San Rafael High. I never use them myself--never need to. No, no condoms. Don't need them.
Really. I don’t.
Hearing aid batteries and ear plugs. I do have a hearing loss. I do.
Toothbrush and toothpaste. Afrin, for my node.
In the front compartment is where the good stuff is. There's the drivers license and the car reg. Biz cards. There's green-colored paper with numbers on it--yeah, they’re called dollars. You give those pieces of paper to people, and they give you metal back and other things.
There's small embossed plastic cards. I let people handle those and then they give me things for free.
There's a flashlight. Really good one, too. The Hubble Observatory was sure there was a new star the other night. And there's this thing I use to pick my teeth with. There's nail clippers. For my nails, yes.
And two whistles. One is a bosun's whistle I got from my father-in-law, one of the best men in the world. The other is a referee's whistle for football practice. I call early whistles to save them from injuries.
And a stop-watch. Ever time how fast a cop can give you a ticket? Or how long a traffic light lasts? One of my burps lasts three seconds.
Now, I truly need all that stuff I carry. All of it. What's missing?
In fact, I think we ought to have a contest. The "What's in YOUR Man Purse?" Contest.
We could have categories by size and kind: canvas? Neoprene? We could have sub-categories such as Emergency Prep and books and Pens.
And we could have a category called "Damn, I Left THAT Out?"
